Ceremonial rites, including songs and prayers, take place during these 13 days. This is more substantial than the bride and groom only exchanging vows, for it shows the level of the union between the two entire families. The ritual of a hu plig can be performed for those who are sick or recovering from a sickness. Blessed with a great number of relatives, it was a guarantee that there was bound to be someone celebrating a joyous milestone also referred to as Khi Tes in the Hmong culture. During a traditional wedding, Hmong people place a heavier emphasis on uniting the . But still, whenever a child is born, there must be aHu Pligceremony to call theDab Pogto come welcome the baby into the house and to thank them for blessing the couple with the baby. From 1790-1860, the Hmong fled south from Chinese persecution into Burma, Thailand, Laos, and Vietnam. Need inspiration? By tradition, the man and the woman have equal custody of all the children. It is here the bride's family acknowledgesthat the bride is now a member of the groom's family and that they will take care of her. She will also be given food for the journey. What do the maykong's negotiate during a wedding? There is a lot of drinking that takes place throughout the entire wedding. The funeral procession follows, carrying a casket or open stretcher containing the body. Relatives are often asked to slaughter a cow. Marriages take place between two clans with different last names. Love the photos honey! It's also taboo for mourners to show any distress during the funeral ceremony. advice. Hmong Funeral. Ceremonial rites, including songs and prayers, take place during these 13 days. What does the wedding ceremony consist of? On the third day, the burial typically takes place. 3. The atmosphere of a Hmong funeral can be both traditional and modern. Yes! Hmonglibrary.com is also a great site to learn more about traditional customs at Hmong funerals. The fees for the advice of an attorney should not be compared to the fees of do-it-yourself online coupleswedding-and-ceremony-planningreligion-and-rituals. One last round of drinks sends the guests home. . The grooms people kidnap the bride. They invite the soul to visit their home in preparation for its journey. They were days away from the front line when the French surrendered to the Communist Viet Minh; this effectively ended French rule in Southeast Asia. When the messenger arrives at the bride's parents house, he offers tobacco to the parents and other adults present. The second day of a Hmong funeral is the day of offerings, or. Once you take a seat, stay for the entiretyof the wedding. While there are some wonderful online resources regarding Hmong weddings and traditionsthe best place to find out more is by talking with the elders of the family. Our premiere package contains everyting you need to officiate like a pro. 5. 9. To bring and entice the soul home, there is chanting and offerings of food. These parts must remain in harmony to remain healthy. A Simple Vow Renewal With Recognition of Children, Qu Usar Y Qu No Usar Como Oficiante De Bodas. They must also bring in a basket containing a small cooked pig, rice, a bottle of wine, and other ceremonial items. There's no denying that this powerful tool aids in living mindfully and assists the wearer in utilizing the power of thought. First drink the glass closer to the tail end of the table. However, this is the most costly way to get married. Say thank you at the right time, in the right way, and in a polite manner. This link will open in a new window. She stood at the front door with her tools, two live chickens and an egg placed in a rice bowl with incense. If it is determined the wife had committedadultery, the husband will get custody of all the children; with the dowry and an additional fine. There may be traditional artwork or floral arrangements. We cannot give you customized advice on your situation or needs, which would require the service Because their traditional marriages dont involve certificates or clergy to solemnize them, most Hmong Americans choose modern-leaning ceremonies with a wedding officiant and marriage license to ensure their unions are recognized. There is also atusntaub nruab, a man who plays the large drum called thethenruab. A shaman visits the home of the person who needs their soul to be checked on. There are theniam ua mov, literally "women who cook." The ceremony of tying strings at its' best is done during weddings, graduations, birthdays, or other elaborate celebrations. The Hmong religion considers west to be the direction of death. But you can still bring a respectful gift to a Hmong funeral. Khi Tes (Hand tying with string). During this part of the funeral tradition, a qeej player and drummer play ceremonial music throughout the visits. We prepped for the funeral by making paper boats and flowers, which serve as money in the spiritual world. Eventually, the groom and best man will kneel to the bride's family. The Baciceremony is held on many different occasions or events through out the year. What happens when the negotiations are finished? It should be noted that this is an old tradition that is rarely practiced today in many Western Nations. These ceremonies take place either to celebrate accomplishments, heal the sick or say good-bye to a loved one. The bride runs away to the grooms house. Children will help pass out drinks, clean up after guests, and watch over the body. A funeral of this length means that the deceased is a well-respected person and has lived a wonderful life. I find it beautiful how much support our culture has on family and the bond that ties everyone together. Wedding Planner Magazine is a print publication that educates and inspires the wedding industry, By Anna Senrick, Sunrise Styling, LLC, St. Paul, Minn. photos by merina burda photography. For the Ponca Tribe, there is a fear of the deceased which drives their . If a husband and wife decide to divorce, the couples clans will permit a divorce but will evaluate the situation fairly. Since the Hmong wedding ceremony is not only a union of the bride and groom, but their entire families to one another, in a true Hmong ceremony, there is no place for a wedding planner, as they cant negotiate for either side of the family. Traditionally, the food will have no spices and fancy dishes are not welcome. We cook a lot of food, invite family, a shaman performs the blessing ceremony and everyone ties a white string around her and our wrists to wish is luck in life and give Lillian gifts (money). Having knowledge about what happens during the wedding ceremony can provide an insight into Hmong culture and can aid anyone planning on attending one. The Hmong have long been called Miao (alternatively spelled Meo) by Han Chinese, who used the term as a general catchword to refer to all non-Chinese in the south in ancient historical works such . Corn Meal Bowl. I'll explain more in a later post, for now, enjoy the photos from Lillian's Hmong Blessing Ceremony we had today. I would ask but everytime I do she always says I don't need to bring anything (her Hmong wedding) and later I learn different. . Usually, a girl who does not want to be married will be able to get away, for it is common that these kinds of marriages have negative repercussions. Some things they may need to discuss include improper conduct by the groom during courtship, unresolved issues between clans, or whether anything about the wedding was done improperly. 5. Heartbroken that I was not able to attend her big day, it was then that the idea dawn on me. The multi-day rituals required the bride to travel back and forth between the grooms home and her own, and she was given an umbrella to protect her from the elements and evil spirits as she traveled. Dia Cha, "The Hmong 'Dab Pog Couple' Story and its Significance in Arriving at an Understanding of Hmong Ritual"Hmong Studies Journal2003, 4:1-20, She grabbed a large hooped rattle-like tool called thetxiab neeband herkuam, the divination horns. They invite the soul to visit their home in preparation for its journey. I came upon the idea of Hmonderns Blessing Strings this summer when I had missed a dear persons Khi Tes ceremony, my cousin Chia Vang whom I had grown up with. This, however, is rare. They believe the Creator birthed the body from the earth, so it must return to the earth through decomposition. This is the way in which Hmong parents usually wish in which their daughter will be married off, and it is viewed as bringing honor to the family. Ladder Stitch: A stitch in embroidery consisting of transversing bars. His Sickness Came Back Kyson came home with a fever from school. At this time, it is customary to give a monetary gift to the couple. Here's are some ways to make the mother's blessing ceremony special for a mom-to-be: 1 Ask the Guests to Bring the Beads Get each guest to bring a bead or pick one from a bowl that you have bought. Do not bring your own drinks, but drink what is being offered you. Often, the shaman sits or jumps repeatedly on a bench while playing a bell like instrument. 3 days after birth, the family calls the spirit again, just for the baby this time, to ensure the baby's safe arrival to our world. Two tables are set up, one for the main wedding crew and the other for the parents and other honored guests. Traditional Hmong ceremonies are a huge aspect of Hmong culture. Ua Neeb (shamanism). A Hmong funeral lasts from three to 12 days depending on several factors, such as finding a suitable burial day. Traditionally, when a boy wants to marry a girl, he will make his intentions clear, and will snatch'(zij) her during day light or night at any opportunity that is appropriate. The groom must offer money to the woman's parents in order to pacify tensions, and the parents usually do not settle for a small amount. It is a ritual that promotes reflection and signifies remembrance. The daughter did this and was married off. I recalled anxiously waiting for the weekends when I was younger because the weekends meant going over to the cousins. Hmong New Year celebrations frequently occur in November and December (traditionally at the end of the harvest season when all work is done), serving as a thanksgiving holiday for the Hmong people. At the front door of the house, the shaman will ring a gong while calling for the lost spirit. LinkedIn. 4. The next morning the parents woke up so enraged at theDab Pogthat the spirit couple left.1. The usual Hmong funeral is held for three days and nights. The maykong must carry an umbrella which is carried around in order to protect the spirits of the bride and groom. When thinking about occurrences at a traditional Hmong wedding, one will often first think of alcohol and the exchange of money. Required fields are marked *. The Hmong are pantheists, believing in a variety of natural and super natural spiritual forces living in and animating all things. The Hmong believe that each living body has three souls. The traditional Hmong drum is often beat and the Hmong flute known as the "qeej" is played. The extended family takes responsibility for pre-funeral preparations and hosting the funeral. This ornate golden heart is often made with various colors of joss paper. It can be anything from wishing one prosperity, wealth, or good luck. 2. We burn this money on the day of the burial. They must take with them at least three whole chickens, a small knife, a small bottle of cooking oil, salt, spoons, two packs of steamed rice, and alcoholic drinks. When a Hmong person dies, practitioners believe that their soul begins a lengthy journey. The dinner consists of only meat and drinks and all except the bride and groom of the wedding party are honored and money for the wedding is exchanged. May Yang, the shaman, explains that this ceremony is the Hmong version of prenatal care. Correct misconducts of your neighbors by telling the maykong. This is a gift and an offering to the soul of the departed to help them on their way. Hmong: A member of a people living traditionally in isolated mountain villages throughout Southern China and Southeast Asia, usually known as Miao in China. The rites will take place in a community center, funeral home, or family home. 2. Nowadays, many couples skip day one and three of the traditional Hmong wedding and only have a big party along with the hand-tying ceremony. These may be blessings or curses. Even if no tears develop, they must make the sounds of crying, for this shows respect for the deceased. The groom's people "kidnap" the bride. All together, the three male roles will lead the deceased back to his or her home. . 7. 4. After three days, the parents of the groom will prepare the first wedding feast for the newlywed couple (Hu plig nyab tshiab thaum puv peb tag kis). The Hmong people believe that anyone who doesnt receive the proper funeral rites will be lost, destined to wander the afterlife alone for all of eternity. and travels to reunite with ancestors. During the funeral ceremony, an immediate family member guards the deceased's casket from harm, such as evil spirits. If she chooses to marry an extended member from her deceased, husbands clan, her children will continue to be a part of that clan. So I grabbed my embroidery thread and began to braid her a blessing string. A graduation party at the park can also be a Khi Tes ceremony for the graduate. That's why at Hu Plig's (Soul Calling Ceremonies) and weddings (where they had a Hu Plig), all guests are encouraged to tie white strings as a blessing and for luck. The family members are required tonyiav, to mourn for the deceased. As the story goes, a young girl felt ready to get married yet her parents did not approve of it. By clicking "Accept", you agree to our website's cookie use as described in our Cookie Policy. In this ceremony, friends and relatives tie white strings to the one(s) being blessed. What happens after a man brings a woman home? The Hmong House: The Location of Shamanic Ritual, Hmong Religiosity and Shamanism In The Twin Cities, Hmong Religiosity and Shamanism in the Twin Cities, Christianity: Hmong Churches and "American" Churches, Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License. Before the groom and his party leave, many things are taken care of. The Hmong religion is traditionally. HMONG - BLESSING CEREMONY FOR ST. PAUL-CHINA FRIENDSHIP GARDEN Afterward, the pregnant woman and her family prepare for a feast. The second day of a Hmong funeral is the day of offerings, or qhua txws. Only then can the soul be reincarnated. Gift Package. Unlike typical Western funeral attire, during a Hmong funeral ceremony, attendeesespecially relatives and descendants of the deceasedshould dress down. Khi Tes is a Blessing String Hand Tying Ceremony and it is exactly what it sounds like. Women who have previously been married can become married again, but they cannot have another extensive and elaborate wedding. Your email address will not be published. Maybe youve seen them at weddings in the past, wrapped in bright black-and-white striped ribbon, and wondered where the tradition got its start! "This ceremony was to help the mother and baby," Yang said through a translator. Hmong weddings start off at the brides family house then transfer over to the grooms family house. The body is embalmed so that weekend services can begin on Friday morning. The bride's family presents the groom's family with gifts consisting of money to buy a bull, casual clothes for the bride, traditional old clothes for the bride, and all of the brides belongings. Traditional Hmong weddings are extensive and elaborate events which normally take two days and one night to complete. We cook a lot of food, invite family, a shaman performs the blessing ceremony and everyone ties a white string around her and our wrists to wish is luck in life and give Lillian gifts (money). Khi Tes emphasizes on gathering love ones to honor and celebrate milestones such as a graduation or any other joyous events. On the third day, the burial typically takes place. (Cha, 2010). This website uses cookies to improve your experience. My Level and Knowledge of the Hmong Language is.. player leads the procession, along with the drummer. Rituals, roles, and responsibilities included in a Hmong Funeral, www.jstor.org/stable/1178534?read-now=1&seq=1#page_scan_tab_contents. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Your email address will not be published. On the first day, family members will greet guests, accept gifts, and host prayers. Each string comes with a pendant that I personally hand stamped. Our culture believes in spirits and that every person, whether unborn, born, alive or not, forever has one. The daughter asked both theDab pogand theXwmKabto allow her to marry and both refused her, but she was persistent and eventually theDab Pogagreed and told her that they would cast a spell on her parents into deep sleep so that she can sneak out and marry. Shamanism is a way to maintain communication with the spiritual world. I know she doesn't care if I give her money or not, but I feel that if I'm going to attend I should at least know what to expect. After these negotiationsare finished and each side is satisfied, the rest of the proceedings are only symbolic gestures. The family has to agree to the marriage and and previous feuds have to be settled in order for a couple to marry. If they are pleased, they will protect the believer's descendants from illness and natural disasters. The guest maykong will then again place two times the amount of money on top, and they will then each take the pile that is closest to them. Another method is going to the woman's house with two go-betweens and to ask the parents for her hand in marriage. (Cha, 2010) (See section The Engagement). The bride is not allowed to visit anyones house for three days after this. However, today they typically last 3 or 4 days. The Iu Mien or Iu Mian people number about 5 million. Cha, Y.P. After bringing the deceased person back to their birthplace, the dead will speak to thetxiv xaiv. In Laos, the Hmong lived separately from the Lao people. Traditionally, in most kidnapping cases, the bride is then forced to marry the groom despite her personal wishes. Your generosity keeps American Marriage Ministries running. The family then removes the body from the home and begins the journey to the gravesite. 1. A Hu Plig ceremony was completed to welcome her to the spiritual clan of her husbands family. Ritual ceremonies are performed for the reason of pleasing the ancestral spirits. Hmong people see the death of a loved one as an important part of life. There is no shaman needed for a Khi Tes ceremony since the gathering is more of a celebratory event than spiritual one. The Hmong New Year celebrationspecifically based on both religious and cultural beliefsis an "in-house" ritual that takes place annually in every Hmong household. If a descendant is dressed down, the deceased will show pity and give their blessings. It is very important the groom and best man are aware of what is expected of them. Do this in order to prevent confrontations with other guests. (Cha, 2010). Many mothers have said that these birth beads give them strength and focus during labor. 8. (Cha, 2010). However, the parents should not eat at this feast, for it is believed that this symbolizes the parents digging into the wealth and prosperity of their children. However, as a guest, you dont have to know every detail of a Hmong funeral. A Hmong wedding is a complicated event in which the bride and groom are the reason, but not the center of attention. Once its closed, some say that only the groom is allowed to open it. Of course they are not happy about the death but death is the transition for the human soul (Cha, 1968 p. 101). If youre attending the Hmong funeral of a friend, feel free to offer any gift that feels suitable to you. There is a ritual called "Hu Plig" (hu-plee) which means Calling of the Lost Soul. Stay up to date with the latest wedding ceremony trends, script writing inspiration, tips and advice for first-time officiants, and news that matters to couples and wedding ministers. (Noj tshoob) Hmong marriage customs differ slightly based on cultural subdivisions within the global Hmong community, but all require the exchange of abride price from the grooms family to the brides family. Hmong tradition teaches that when persons pass away, they will go back and visit each place that they have been to, with the last destination being their birthplace. Learn more in our affiliate disclosure. Most guests offer donations, known as sunshine money, as described above. Then, the couple will return to the house of the brides family at the end of the first wedding feast. The Hmong Ntoo Xeeb ceremony described in this text was conducted by the elders of Ban Mae Sa Mai (Mae Sa Mai . When a Hmong person dies, practitioners believe that their soul begins a lengthy journey. The family members of the deceased will stay at the funeral for the entirety of the three days and nights and comfort each other. It ends with the groom and best man consuming drinks from every member of the bride's family. The qeej player leads the procession, along with the drummer. Hmong people use the stomachs of the cow that can be used to make the traditional beef soup, literally cow-poo soup which is made of beef stomach, intestines, and organ meat. (Fi xov) When the bride arrives at the grooms house, the head of the household will perform ablessing ritual for the ancestors to ask them to accept her into the household. Everything you need to know to officiate. A live chicken is tied by up by its feet and stuffed in a bag, awaiting to be sacrificed for the spirit. This link will open in a new window. The burial process must be performed correctly in order to protect those living and the deceased from evil spirits that are present when there is a death. Click here for more details on Hmong weddings. 3. The traditional wedding ritual begins with a groom staging a symbolic kidnapping -- keeping the bride hidden at his family house for several days while his relatives notify her parents of his intention to marry. I am Mexican so I don't know a lot about the Hmong rituals, and I end up embarrassed because I feel like I should have brought something and didn't. Spirits inhabit all things, and Hmong people traditionally offer animal sacrifices and perform ritual ceremonies to maintain good relations with the spirits. (Lwm qaib) She will not be allowed to visit anyones house for three days after this. If you don't have money people also give boiled eggs or candy (whatever is on the center piece). Others choose only the Western ceremony and reception but include some Hmong-inspired details in dcor, food, and other cultural ideas. A Blessingway is an ancient Navajo sacred spiritual ceremony performed by the Navajo people to celebrate rites of passage that occur throughout the entire life cycle. During this ceremony, strings are tied around their wrists to restore their souls to their bodies. Khi Tes is a Blessing String Hand Tying Ceremony and it is exactly what it sounds like. Depending on the type of ua neeb, many different procedures can be performed. However, they are allowed to marry blood relatives, for example the children of a brother and sister can marry because they would be from different clans. In Laos, Thailand, Vietnam, and China, the most common way of getting married is for the bride agreeing for the groom to just take or home, or she just follows him home. Hmong tradition considers most illnesses to be the result of the soul becoming separated from the body because of an accident, a traumatic event, or theft by an angry spirit. September 22, 2021. During the cafe MN guests will be offered to tie a white string around the wrists of each family member and in doing so a gift is given to the family. The guest maykong will then add twice the amount of money to the piles, and the resident maykong will then place the maykong fee on top. The. Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com. Board of Directors; Department Overview; International Distributors; Management Team; Vision, Mission Statement & Core Values; History. It is a powerful and tangible way for the new mother to be reminded of just how much support she has. Hmong weddings are really emotional for the bride and her family, since she is forever leaving the nest and adopting a new family. At the blessing way, we string all the beads onto a cord for the mother to wear or have during labor. Usage of any form or other service on our website is The two sons were called Lialue and Trumee. The Geneva Accords in 1954 divided Vietnam into two separate countries. Behind the two musicians, a woman carries a torch, meant to light the way for the soul. As with many weddings in Asian cultures, traditional Hmong weddings are handled by the family and are intricately pre-planned or determined by ancestry, last name lineage, the value of the female/bride, and gifts to the brides family. Hmoob Cultural and Community Agency, Inc (HCCA) 1815 Ward Avenue La Crosse, WI 54601 Phone: (608) 781-5744 Fax: (608) 781-5011 Hours: Monday - Thursday: 9:00 A.M. - 4:30 P.M. Friday: 9:00 A.M. - 12:00 P.M. Monday & Friday : Close Tuesday & Thursday: 9:00 A.M. - 4:00 P.M. Wednesday: 12:00 P.M. - 4:00 P.M. STAFF CONTACT INFORMATION Are there any other ways to "take a wife"? Hmong people believe in tying strings for blessing, luck and even protection. In response, the brides family chooses an acceptable price for the bride, which the grooms family agrees to pay in exchange for permission to wed. Hmong people emphasize the union of two families, not the happiness of the two people getting married. Clan groups areexogamous: that is, Hmong may not marry within their own clan group; a marriage partner must be found from another clan. 5 Traditional Hmong Ceremonies You Need to Know. Thank you to JK and Jennifer for having my capture your Khi Tes.Like, comment, and Subsc. (Tiam mej koob) In the 21st century, Hmong people who practice Christianity no longer follow traditional Hmong weddings; they often opt for a modern westernized wedding. We even took off Friday to buy veggies and prep the house. It does not matter if she agrees, and once she enters the man's house there is no going back. At the time, umbrellas were expensive items that were difficult to make by hand. For many Hmong, who come from isolated mountain villages in Laos, their first encounter with western ways came when the CIA recruited them in the 1960s to fight the Viet Cong. Thus when thetxiv xaivchants, the deceased will be able to hear his voice and take the correct journey home. The parents will not be told, but an envoy from the boys clan will be sent to inform them of the whereabouts of their daughter and her safety. We also believe in reincarnation which cycles through the same spirits. There are 2-4txiv qeej, men who play theqeej,an instrument that can be used for musical or ritual purposes. In these cases, the planner would interview the couple and provide the same services that they would for any other wedding couplebudget review, timeline, vendor search, and so on. The Siv Ceeb ribbon has its own long history in womens fashion, at times signalling a womans beauty and announcing to single suitors that shes available to wed. After the ceremony, the umbrella again symbolizes the bride and her commitment to the marriage. [3] For example, a Xiong may not marry another Xiong. Good luck! Finally, there is thetxiv xaiv, a man whochants in order to lead the deceased back home on the correct path. This method is the more honorable and traditional way. 3:30 PM -4:30 PM Hmong Blessing Ceremony (Hu Plig Khis Tes) Legacy Hill Farm. The first ceremony to send the party off is usually a simple dinner followed by a short ceremony. Throughout the ceremony, the shaman's husband burns pieces of paper money as offerings to the spirits. Thus when thetxiv xaivchants, the deceased will be able to hear and follow his voice and take the correct journey home. Family members and family friends tie white strings around the wrists of the guest of honor. The couple then enters the house. Non-family members are considered secondary guests at a Hmong funeral. Address the people who hold positions as their roles, not their names. According to Toby Blackstar, a Native American funeral director, the Kiowa believe in-ground burial is the only acceptable way to release a body after death. This link will open in a new window. This is traditionally only a symbolic kidnapping: the girl is allowed to refuse to go. The widow is permitted to remarry, in which case she would have two choices: she may marry one of her husbands younger brothers/ younger cousins (never to the older brothers) or she can marry anyone from the outside clan (beside her own). This ritual is done when a person is ill or not being themselves. Hmong tradition teaches that when persons pass away, they will go back and visit each place that they have been to, with the last destination being their birthplace.